NEVER

When the dark clouds surface i see you like a haunting ghost looming over me

Draining every ray of sunshine out of me

I thought I have buried you under deep

AND then your ugly head surfaces

Every time its dark and sad

Everytime when a stone is thrown I see you

Everytime I feel I cant’t breathe I feel you

Everytime I feel love is not there

Everytime I feel like a dirt by someone I see you

I cant let you do this to me

I cant let you win

I have fought thousand storms to leave the past

I have done everything I could to erase the scars you have left behind

But some how it feels like I haven’t done enough

And I keep thinking didn’t I try my best?

Didn’t I give my best?

Didn’t I do it right?

I need to let it go for once and for all

I want to be my own hero

I want to be my own savior

I need to remember in the every empty lonely road

The thousand battles I had to fight becoz of you

whenever your ugly head surfaces in the lonely dark times

however hard the memories try to surface..

NO I WON’T LET YOU WIN AND LOOM OVER ME

no I will NOT LET YOU knock ME down

You can throw the dirt on me

But you can’t my touch my soul

Never will let you win and knock me down

I AM MY SAVIOUR

I AM MY HERO

AND THAT’S WHAT I WILL REMEMBER

EVERYTIME THE DARKNESS LOOM OVER ME….

BFF (Part one)

They say thirteen is unlucky

but how can i believe that?

I was thirteen when I found you my friend.

Have the vivid memory

Me sitting on the bench,

my eyes drawn to the board,

Feeling all sad leaving the home I knew

All lost in my memories

Amidst all the sound I remember the laughter that forced me back to reality.

That’s the first time I saw you ,that’s the first I saw that naughty smile which is still there.

The journey we started then and its still intact today.

Through our school years together we went from playing sports

To talking and dreaming about future

Always remaining together

The last year of school came to an end, ,

And it was then that we both got lost in our life

Someone broke your heart and you felt I was not there for you

College was where we had the occasional calls and meet ups

Misunderstandings and distance made us more apart.

Then my heart was broken,

my life went upside down

Darkness engulfed

My life was over,

Or so it had seemed,

There you were leading the way

Love shining from your heart

(The second part will be added soon)

Smiling though it all.

My first picture book i remember of mine is of snow-white,

Reading and cherishing,the dwarf friends never leaving the side,

The beautiful ending with prince charming saving the day,

And thinking life is a piece of choclate.

Nobody told me then Life wont be a fairytale.

Nobody told me then there would be times it would be hard to even smile.

Nobody told me then sometimes i would be left all alone.

Nobody told me then Prince charming doesn't exist

Then life happened,Innocence dissapperared,reality striked

and then fairytale became the stories for leisure.

The day i lost my doll,

and cried my heart out.

Mom consoled,Dad bought me a new one.

Life continued to spring on me its new twists and turns.

Some were small and some were mean.

But one advice stood out all the time,

And that was grandma's words of wisdom.

Remember dear

There is going to be things you going to see

that's gonna make it hard to smile in the future.

But through whatever you see,

through all the pain,through all the greys and white

You gotta be able to smile.

Smiling though it all.

And sometimes when i forget those words

Life becomes a tragedy and darkness prevail.

Pain exceeds the status where its unbearable,

Even when its the smallest rock on the path,

It looks like a mountain,

So i know now its better to smile through the pain

As its only a gain to my soul in everyway.

Smiling though it all.

InTerPreTingLIFE: WITHIN ME

InTerPreTingLIFE: WITHIN ME

WITHIN ME

Close the eyes

And look inside oneself

Don't we all wanna do that

And When i got the chance

I grabbed it with both hands.

Closed my eyes

Veil of uncertainty draped

within me.

Needed to find the strength

within me,

Wanted to break free

Lead my life with no fear.

Soon the voice guided me

Slowly felt dark clouds within the sky of my heart,

Ready to face my fear

Ready to let it pass through me

Ready to let go.

Saw the darkest moments of my life

which had been buried and forgotten.

Felt the pain draping me within & outside

& realized darkest moments are memory

to recall for strength

Suddenly felt cold breeze engulfing within me.

I turned on my inner eye

Felt & saw the veil that had concealed

the tears of pain & despair.

Things became clear when i looked

into my heart,

For within the midst of my pain

I found the meaning of my life

Just when i thought its the end

I saw the light within me.

Only the strength within me

will guide me.

Only I will remain.

WALK IN THE RAIN

Walk in the rain
bought all the pain,
It was like me & sky crying
at the same time.
Admist the tears & pain
I had reflections of the past,
Learned a lot of lessons,
But it seems like a never ending saga
I lie at the night & think about my life,
I don't know who to blame
Its a never ending search
I can only look to me to find the way
it all began.
Its like the greyness of the clouds feeds on
lonliness and creates a void in my soul.
Shadows haunt & torture my soul,
Is it futile to hope & dream?
Emptyness builds a home in my soul.